Tag: Jake Kelly

What is the deal with soundmen?  I wish my job was as simple as twisting a couple of knobs…I have the responsibility of entertaining all the fans: so what’s up with the snide remarks, the heavy sighs, and passive-aggressive...

(continued from here)   9. Bring Me Something to Drink.   Maybe this is not “officially” in your job description (hence the “I’m not your effin’ waitress” comment I often hear), and I get it…but it’s just a nice thing to do.  ...

(continued from here)   8. Round Up Some Hot Girls for the Post Show Party.   Quite obviously, I’m a little busy performing a show, and if I go out in the audience after I play it looks tacky.   But, you, my friend, are already...

(cpntinued from here)   7. Dress Nice.   You are a reflection of me, so come on…step it up.   Not that I’m unsympathetic to your job, crawling under, over and around the stage in 100 degree heat on a dirt field in a fairground....

(continued from here)   6. Don’t Do What I Ask You To Do; Do What I Want.   Well, of course, I want you to do what I want you to do…it’s just that I might ask for something that I don’t want and I want you to know that and then...

(continued from here)   5. Watch the Attitude.   Oh, you know the one:  The…I’m a soundman, and I know sound, and I’m holier than thou…   Okay, Let’s do a list:   The eye roll. The pretending to turn knobs as if you’re doing...

(continued from here)   4. Make Me Louder   Okay, this is easy…and it is the single most important element of your job: make me louder!   And, of course, I want that without feedback.   And, of course, that’s just during...

(continued from here)   3. Stop Ringing Out the P.A. with Steely Dan.   Surely, there has been another great record that has been made in the past 40 years that you can use to do whatever the hell it is you do when listening to...

(continued from here)   2. Man Up and Take the Blame…   Because it’s your fault anyway.   A man wiser than myself (ha! what a funny saying), said that an artist never has a bad show, it’s always someone else’s fault.   That is...